


When the Dust Settles

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-03-28
Updated: 2005-03-28
Packaged: 2019-05-15 09:29:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14787912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: CJ and Donna finish a conversation started many months before.





	When the Dust Settles

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Sisters In Arms~When the Dust Settles**

**by: Brandy**

**Characters:** Josh, Donna, CJ  
**Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Categories:** Drama, Romance   
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine. Not a chance. Just killing time until October....  
**Summary:** CJ and Donna finish a conversation started many months before.  
**Spoiler:** Post "Gaza" and "Memorial Day"  
**Feedback:** Delightful & Delicious... and very appreciated  
**Author's Note:** This took a long time to percolate- maybe too long. In the wave of post "Gaza" & "Memorial Day" stories, this one wanted to wait its turn. Hope you enjoy it.This, along with the rest of the "Sisters In Arms" collection and the rest of my stuff ( as well as Shelley's great fic) can be found at the site I share with Shelley 

CJ stood on the steps in front of Josh's apartment feeling a weird, sort of upside-down sense of deja-vu. She remembered a trip up these very same steps, during the dog days of August, a few years ago. At that time, however, the person under solicitous house arrest was Josh. This time, it was the other half of the dynamic duo - Donna.

Donna.... who she had barely spoken to since that evening they had spent shut in together during the lockdown. The night of the 'conversation'. Now CJ was forced to grit her teeth, straighten her spine and take her medicine like a big girl... and hopefully fix things with her friend in the bargain.

********************************************************************

Donna had come to stay at Josh's after a short sojurn at her parent's home in Wisconsin, where she endured three weeks of well-intentioned coddling by her parents, cousins, and other assorted family and friends. At the end of those three weeks, overwhelmed by the tender mercies and exhausting attention of everyone who wanted to reassure themselves that Donna was actually still among them, she was virtually drowning in cabin fever and boredom. After the last several years of constant motion- during which she had longed for a nice long rest- she found herself unable to be idle. Plus she missed her friends in D.C. She missed the excitement and vitality of the city. She even missed the insufferable humidity of a D.C. summer. Okay... she missed Josh. That was really it. Whether she wanted to admit it out loud or not. So, after some skilled negotiation with her family- who were understandably reluctant to let her go- she made arrangements for her return to what now constituted home- D.C.... and Josh.

After a very brief trial and error period of trying to adjust to her apartment, Josh suggested that she stay at his place. He made the very reasonable arguement that it was more ergonomically compatible for someone in her physical condition:  
His apartment was on the first floor versus the third, as hers was.  
It was close to work- when she ready to come back in for short days- and it was close to her physical therapist and orthapedist.  
All very well thought out and rational points.

When the subject of privacy and appearances came up, Josh had a counter-arguement to that too.  
First, he ended up spending far more nights in his office than he did at home.  
Second, Josh pointed out that the hip to ankle cast on her leg pretty much ruled out the possibility of her engaging in wildly erotic trysts with anyone for the time being.

Donna- never one to let the opportunity for a good retort pass by- asked with deceptive innocence, "Well... what about when the cast comes off?'

Josh's only answer was a dimpled smirk and a careless 'we'll see' shrug.

This led Donna to the conclusion that she had been away from the conversational thrust and parry that was an intregal part of life with Josh Lyman, and she had better get her game back in a hurry.

Nevertheless, the two settled into a comfortable pattern for the next several weeks. It was like an odd extension of the way they were at work. They just adapted routines and attitudes that had served them well for years, and went from there. To those that knew them well, the transition was perfectly normal, and to those who had observed them on a purely professional level, the arrangement was no big surprise. It was all very normal... in it's own unique Josh and Donna fashion.

The arrangement also made it easy for their colleagues to pop in for a noon-time chat or drop by in the evening with a pizza or chinese take-out in hand, and check on their convalescing friend. Everyone, that is, but CJ. Oh, she had come by with a group of the others when Donna first returned home, but since then- nothing- or at least nothing more than the occasional, brief call.

At first, CJ's abscense was somewhat understandable. The peace talks at Camp David and the resulting rumble from those continuing efforts had kept her immersed in a frenzy of spin and control for weeks. But as the summer wore on and things started to slow to their more usual pace, CJ still hadn't come by. Josh remarked on it once to Donna, but she had simply shrugged it off with the vague conjecture of, " She must be busy." Josh had replied that they were all busy, but had let it drop when Donna seemed disinclined to speculate further about it. He knew something had happened between the two of them- apparently before Donna left for the Gaza trip-but had no idea what. Josh decided to let it lie for the time being, but as the days wore on with no change, he decided to speak to CJ about it. That conversation had finally occured the day before CJ found herself on the steps of Josh's brownstown, trying to figure out how to mend the strained threads of her friendship with Donna.

**The day before...**

Josh, catching CJ in her office during a relatively quiet moment, knocked lightly on the frame of her open doorway.

"Hey... you busy?" Josh asked as she peered over her glasses at him.

"Not really. What's up?"

"Not a lot. I had a minute between things and I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Okay... what?" CJ prompted when Josh continued to stand there, seeming to have suddenly developed an exaggerated interest in his shoes.

"I was wondering... that is, I've noticed that you haven't been by to see Donna," Josh noted, directing his attention away from the floor and directly at CJ. At this observation, CJ went a little wide-eyed- not unlike a day-dreaming child unexpectedly called on in class. She recovered quickly, but Josh noticed her reaction, and was all the more certain that his earlier assumptions were correct. Something was definitely amiss between Donna and CJ.

"I've seen her... I went by with everyone when she first got back," she rebutted, a tad too defensively.

"But not since. How come?" Josh asked, and CJ heard the puzzled curiosity, mixed with gentle rebuke in his voice.

CJ tossed a dozen different lame excuses around in her head before discarding them all in favor of an edited version of the truth.

"I.... well, I said some things before she left... things that were maybe ill-advised, or badly timed- or just none of my damn buisness. And now- it's left things strained."

"Okay."

"Okay? That's it? You're not going to ask what I'm talking about?" CJ challenged, raising her brow in disbelief.

"No," Josh answered, then with a shrug added, " That's between you and Donna. All I have to say is that you should go see her, and fix it."

"I'm not sure she wants to talk to me... at least not about that."

"You don't know that she doesn't either," he offered.

CJ didn't comment on that statement beyound a shrug and a sigh. Josh was about to admit defeat and leave, when he decided to give it one last try.

"CJ, go see her. The worst thing that could happen is that she doesn't want to talk to you- and that's already the state of things. Don't wait. Just do it. Sometimes it's the most foolish thing in the world to wait for the right time or opportunity, because anything can occur to prevent that right time' from happening. You would think if you and I hadn't already learned that lesson, that we would certainly have learned it by now. " Thier eyes met as Josh made that last statement, and with a sad smile and a nod, CJ acknowledged how very right he was.

"I'll go see her tomorrow. Would that be okay? She doesn't have therapy or ..."

"She does- at noon. Go by after your four o'clock briefing. She should be ready for company by then," Josh replied with a satisfied smile as he stole a peice of candy from the bowl on her desk and turned to leave.

"Josh?" CJ called after him as he was about to walk out of her office.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"No problem. Just doing my part," he replied with a grin, smacking the top of her door frame on his way out. Everyone who knew Josh knew that was his trademark self-congratulatory move. In Josh-speak, it simply meant; 'mission accomplished'. CJ couldn't help but smile as she watched him walk away, then turned back to her work.

That was yesterday. She had watched Josh walk out of her office and felt hopeful and optimistic about talking to Donna. She realized as she stood there, shifting from foot to foot as she mulled over what to say to Donna first, that she missed her friend. She also realized that all that hopeful anticipation she had felt yesterday after talking to Josh had turned into nervous anxiety. What if Donna opened the door, saw her standing there, and gave CJ the Donnatella Moss version of the 'big chill'? Before CJ could come up with another item to add to her 'what if' list, the front door flew open.

For a second Donna and CJ stood a foot apart, regarding each other with matching wide-eyed expressions of surprise. Donna was the first to recover. " Hey CJ... this is a... surprise."

"Uhmm... yeah." Then looking down at the cane and the soft brace that still covered her leg from knee to ankle, she gave Donna a questioning look and said, " Should you be up and roaming around?"

"Well, that depends on who you ask," Donna replied with a slightly exasperated look.

"Really?" CJ remarked, her brow raised in question.

"Yeah. Look... do you want to come in? I was going to take a walk and seek some human interaction, but since you're here..."

"Yeah. I'd like that." CJ replied with a hesitant smile as she followed Donna's slow but steady progress back inside.

CJ stood in the living room, glancing around at the subtle but definite signs that showed Josh was sharing his home with Donna. The funny thing was, that even at first glance, those things didn't look out of place, or even temporary. It all fit quite nicely. Donna placed a stack of magazines that had been on the sofa on the coffee table and offered CJ a seat with a gesture.

"Would you like something to drink?" she asked.

"No.. I'm fine."

With a shrug, Donna sat down on the other end of the sofa from CJ, propping her foot up on an ottoman. CJ eyed the peice of furniture with an odd look. " Is that new?"

"Yeah. Josh bought it the day after I came to stay with him. The same day he had the handrails and bench put in his shower," Donna related with a slight blush.

"With no prompting of instruction from you?" CJ was compelled to ask

"Nope. Not a bit. He's been really great. Everyone has."

"Except me. I haven't been too great... have I?" CJ asked pointedly, and Donna immediately began to brush the statement off with the same sort of excuse she'd made to Josh. Except- it was just the two of them, and they both knew different.

"Don't bother trying to put a nice face on it, Donna. I was wrong then, and I've been wrong since you came back. A big, wrong chicken," she added the last with a stab at self-deprecating humor.

"Well- despite your confession, I won't let it leak to Taylor Reid that you have indeed confessed to being a 'chicken'," Donna retorted, but CJ could tell the humor was a bit forced. Donna didn't want CJ to scoff her mistakes away with lame humor, and truthfully, neither did CJ. They needed to finish saying all the things that were left unsaid during the lockdown. Only then could they go about rebuilding their friendship.

"Thanks. Seriously though... I felt bad after that night. I wanted to talk to you before you left, but time got away from us, and then..." CJ trailed off, her gaze falling to Donna's most obvious injury. She didn't want to think about the others- about the invasive, life saving surgery Donna was forced to undergo. Another thing that tied her and Josh together...

"It probably wouldn't have been a good idea to talk before I left anyway. I was pretty pissed, and... confused too, I guess." Donna said finally, drawing CJ's attention back to her face.

"I had a feeling."

"I was pissed that you seemed to think so little of me-"

"Donna- I never meant that. I think you're great at what you do. I was mad at Josh and- "

Donna held her hand up, and said " Whoa, CJ- I said it seemed that way. At the time. I was also a little thrown off balance at the observations you made about me and Josh - or rather about me , regarding Josh."

" That was none of my buisness. Whatever relationship you and Josh have,  
and however you choose to conduct it is entirely up to you two. I  
shouldn't have-"

Again, Donna interrupted CJ with a gesture.

"That's not necessarily true, CJ. You're the Press Secretary. Josh and I work in the White House. You're Josh's friend, and you're my friend. That makes it at least partially your buisness."

"Is that still true? The me being your friend thing? Because I would understand..."

"Yes, CJ.- of course it is. I said I was pissed at you, not that I hated you. When I figured out a few things I stopped being confused. When that happened, I understood why you said some of the things you did. From that moment I stopped being pissed at you."

"Really?" CJ asked, not even attempting to hide her surprise.

"Yeah- and just for the record, you weren't the only one rubbing someone's nose in their relationship. I got my jabs in too," Donna replied with a hint of a smile, then added, " So how are things with Ben?"

"In a holding pattern, I think. I'm not sure I still know how to have a rational, sensible relationship with a man outside of work. " CJ added the last with a resigned sigh.

"What's rational or sensible about relationships?" Donna retorted, and CJ noticed the humor was more natural now. She could feel the tension between them start to ease.

"Nothing, I guess," CJ replied with a little chuckle, then taking a chance, she ventured out on a limb to ask something she was almost afraid to. " So.... you and Josh? Are things... I mean- have things changed?"

"Are you asking if we've talked about the reasons behind the crazy things we do to and for each other?"

At CJ's hesitant nod, Donna smiled.

"Yes, we have. And to answer the question I know you're trying very hard not to ask- Yes. Josh knows I love him, and I know he loves me."

At that soft-spoken admission CJ's jaw dropped in shock and surprise. "When? How?"

"Things got a little too real this last time. For Josh... and I guess for me too. When I woke up in the hospital that second time and he was there, beside my bed, holding my hand. I saw tears in his eyes. I had never seen Josh like that. I've seen him in painful moments in his life before, but.... it's kind of hard to explain. I saw... everything. It was as if all the barriers had been stripped away- all the masks. Everything he does to make people think he's a self-absorbed, ego-driven jackass. All that was gone. The only thing left were his true feelings. I saw then how much I meant to him... and I let him know I returned those feelings. Later we actually talked about it, but I knew then. I knew we could never go back to pretending."

CJ sat beside Donna, absorbing everything she said. The silence between them was reflective and comfortable. CJ wasn't thinking in Press Secretary mode at that moment, but rather as a friend. That's not to say that during the course of her reflections, she didn't come to the conclusion that it really didn't matter anymore. Quite honestly, the nature of Josh and Donna's relationship was one of the worst kept secrets in Washington- at least among those who had spent more than five minutes in their company. They were what they were- partners in the truest sense. They had been that from almost the very beginning, despite the abscence of any outward acknowledgement or verbal declaration. The only people they had truly and successfully fooled for any length of time was each other. Now, not even that stood between them.

"Don't get me wrong. It didn't happen overnight," Donna began speaking again, this time her tone a little more light-hearted. " We stumbled a little at first. Then when I came back here, things were sorted of forced to the surface again. The difference was , this time we dealt with them instead of doing the 'deer-in-the-headlights' followed by duck and cover avoidance dance we've done so many times before."

"I wish I'd been a fly on the wall for that moment. Josh Lyman doing high romance and declaring his undying love," CJ retorted with a grin.

"Oh- come on, CJ. This is us. Do you really think we did the flowery, romantic, Johanna Lindsey-style declarations? "

"Well... sure! After all this time- I mean, why not?"

"Because that would be entirely to weird, and entirely not us. I mean.. there were moments. Things I'll never forget as long as I live. But it wasn't exactly the stuff of romance novels. I guess you could say that by most people's standards we 'short-handed' it." Donna replied, her eyes sparkling with memories and not a little humor.

"Shorthanded it? " CJ asked, her brow arched in question.

"Yeah. We said everything we needed to say to each other in a way that was perfect for us."

CJ smiled at Donna's words that both made perfect sense and at the same time were utterly confusing. She wondered breifly if there was a JoshandDonna-to-English dictionary floating around out there, and where she could get her hands on a copy.

"So... have you two discussed the practical aspects of your relationship? You know- working and so forth?"

"A little. The one thing you were right about that night was my need to do more- to be more.Professionally. Josh has known about that for a while, and part of the reason we had been having a hard time before I left was that he knew I was getting restless, and he wanted me to have more- expand my horizons, and widen my options, but he also didn't want to lose me- and I don't mean professionally. He wanted me in his life, and thought that the only way I could be in his life was as his assistant. When I realized that his efforts to keep me chained to my desk was his crazy way of being with me as much as he could, I understood that he wasn't selfish and demanding so much as he was scared of losing me. Once we figured out that we could actually have what we really wanted, but were previously too afraid to reach for, everything else became simple."

"And this ephiphany was caused by...?" CJ prompted.

"Both of us coming this close to losing everything twice inside of a few years," Donna replied, holding he thumb and forefinger an indiscernable amount apart. "That tends to break things down to their most basic level."

"So you two are working out the details?"

"Yeah. Of course, my little misadventure in Gaza has given us a little breathing room as far as making any decisions go. We still have some time to work out the practical details. For now we're just enjoying each other. At last."

Hearing Donna say that, CJ couldn't help but smile. So much had changed, but so much was still the same. CJ couldn't help but take comfort in that fact. She was a bit surprised that her happiness for them wasn't tinged by even an inkling of envy. She would truly love to have what they had found with each other- but she didn't begrudge them. Not a bit. They both had certainly waited long enough and survived more than enough to deserve all the happiness they could manage.

"I'm glad for you. Really I am. I've never known two people more suited to each other. I never thought I'd see it, and certainly never thought I'd say it- but you two really are perfect for each other."

"I know. Crazy isn't it? Who would have thought all those years ago in New Hampshire that Josh and I would end up like this?" Donna asked with a wondorous smile.

CJ was tempted to tell Donna that Leo would have- actually had, in fact, forecasted this particular turn of events. One night in the Manchester campaign office, two nights after Donna had returned to Wisconsin and her erstwhile boyfriend, CJ had overheard Josh whining about Donna's abscence to Leo. At which point, Leo had very sternly warned him not to get infatuated with the his assistants- it didn't look good. Josh of course had vehemently denied that his interest in Donna was anything but professional.

CJ almost laughed out loud as she recalled Leo telling Josh that he really should learn to lie better than that if he was going to survive in professional politics. 'No' CJ thought, 'I'll save that story for another occasion. One I'm sure won't be too terribly far down the road.'

"What are you smiling about?" Donna asked, breaking into CJ's reverie.

"Nothing... well- something- but it's a story for a different day. For now, how about I just catch you up on all the good gossip- the stuff that Margaret doesn't even know about? Sound good?"

"Sounds perfect."

And it was. They spent the rest of the afternoon weaving the few, last,loose threads of their friendship back together. What else could be better?

The End


End file.
